Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize