The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I need moral support for this bender
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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