i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Send help, water and tortillas.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize