yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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