Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I need water and some morals
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize