I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
