dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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