I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I love having hate sex.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
