If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
