I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
