Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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