she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
