Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
