I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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