Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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