So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
