You can't motorboat a personality
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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