Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
