I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Fuck appropriateness.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
