stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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