Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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