Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
