He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
