tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
