All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
