New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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