Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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