i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
