just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
