I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
