Plan B is the new Plan A
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
