Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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