didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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