We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
