I just saw a hot homeless man
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
