the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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