Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
