Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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