I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
high people should be assigned attendants
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
