"it" just moved
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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