the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
