i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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