I got chris browned last night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
