He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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