You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
