I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
