I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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