I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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