Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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