last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
