he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
