But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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