just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
