Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm both gender and math confused
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
