I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
