Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Randomize
