bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
