He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sorry about my life...
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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