I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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