Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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