He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
