yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
