So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
