Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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