At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
