I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
