is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
