The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
