Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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