I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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