Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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